The Crying Game

Yesterday I finally got to Trader Joes to grocery shop.  It was the first time Quilla (6 weeks old) has been with me for a proper grocery shop for something other than just laundry soap. On the way there she was content just to enjoy the nearly 10 minute ride and the music I was playing.  Once we got to the grocery store, I put her car seat (with her in it) in the grocery cart securely and kept my fingers crossed that she wouldn’t start to howl the moment I began to fill the cart.  She was such an angel!  She had everyone who passed by us oooing and aahhing at her as she made the sweetest little faces, smiles and sounds.  I shopped rather quickly as I felt like Cinderella at 11:55pm: the spell could break at any moment.  As I was getting her situated back in the car, she started sticking her tongue out at me and smiling (so cute!)which, of course, means “Mommy, It’s boobie time”.  As we were SO close, I thought I could probably make it home to nurse her before she got upset.  

I was wrong. We almost made it. About 8 blocks from home she started to fuss a little. 

I tried to keep her happy by whistling and singing, but exactly 3 blocks from home she started to SCREAM.  Never before had I heard this shrill sound come from my child.  I quickly pulled over in front of an expired meter on the side of the road, and hopped in the back seat with her to pick her up, calm her down, and feed her. As I mopped up big crocodile tears off her pink little face and nursed her, I realized it was after 4pm.  Metered parking after 4pm on this street is illegal and I would surely be ticketed.  As much as this bothered me, I would rather be ticketed than allow my child to cry.  Luckily, yesterday was Veterans Day.  Raven would be home.  So, I called my husband to have him walk over and drive us home before I got a parking ticket. No harm done.

I am not on board with letting my child “cry it out”.  No one should be!  While this was the school of thought back when our Grandmothers were changing diapers, we now know that this is about as ridiculous as drinking alcohol & smoking while pregnant.  Studies show that excessive crying releases adrenalin into the baby’s system, which can lead to future neurological disorders.  Additionally, infants who are left to cry it out are TEN times more likely to have ADHD.  Parents who leave their babies to cry are simply paving the road for an insecure, anti-social, and sometimes event violent child.  We will not spoil our children by picking them up when they cry.  Instead, we are provoking social and communicative skills - "When I cry, my Mommy responds."

An infant’s only mode of communication is to cry and let us know that he/she needs something essential like nourishment, burping to relieve stomach pain, a diaper change, or simply to be held and comforted.  Shame on any parent who does not respond as soon as possible to this cry and meet their baby’s needs! In my opinion, this is gross negligence, and, in fact, child abuse.

In the case of a colicky child, the baby may not be able to be consoled, but this still does not mean the child should be left alone to scream. 
Sometimes it's really hard to figure out why your baby is crying. As  mom with a baby who is prone to tummy troubles, I know how frustrating that can be.  I just ordered  Dunstan Baby Language -- Learn the universal language of newborn babies and also Baby - Baby Sign Language (ASL) Training Video. I'm hoping that by teaching her how to tell me what she needs, I can cut the crying down to an extreme minimum.

All I'm saying is: Bottom line - LOVE your baby: don’t let your child cry.

‘Nough said.

For more on this topic, please see:

http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/excessive-crying-harmful-to-babies.html