The "Non-Plan" Plan

Mommy & tiny 15 minute old Quilla

When I was about 7 months pregnant, I asked my doctor "Should we start talking about the birth plan yet?"  She responded, "How about the NON-PLAN Plan? It's nice to have an idea about how you would like things to go, but we don't know how you, your body and/or your baby will handle labor."
It made sense.  How can I make a solid concrete plan for something that is so completely out of my control?  So, at 10pm on September 26, as I took the elevator to the third floor of Cedar Sinai Hospital, I gave myself over completely to destiny,  and I actually enjoyed the adventure of the next 16 hours that would lead to finally holding my daughter in my arms for the first time.

38 wks preggers

Last night Quilla woke up almost every hour to nurse.  By 6am I was beyond exhausted.  My husband, who now sees me as some sort of non-sleeping super hero, rolled over in bed and asked me "how do you do it?"  I thought about it for a second and then explained to him, "I know!  It's weird.  Functioning with this little sleep should turn me into a bear ... but regardless of how tired I am, I'm happy to wake up because our daughter needs me."  -and I meant it.

SHE NEEDS ME.  I have never had more purpose in my life than I do now.

So, I've decided that I will continue to be on the "non-plan" plan. I might sleep 2 hours tonight or I might sleep 6.  It might take me ten minutes to get to the grocery store or  2 hours because I have to pull over twice on the way to feed the baby.  I might fit in my old cloths by Christmas, but probably not because I shouldn't diet while breastfeeding.
.... and that's all OK!  cause I'm on the "non-plan" plan.