Ya win some - ya loose some

I have discovered Dunstan Baby Language and it has made such an overnight enormous difference!  Honestly, I think that all hospitals should hand out a copy of this DVD right along with the visit from the lactation consultant  as it is equally as important! The DVD "decodes" your baby's crys into 5 words.  I thought I really knew my daughters different cries, but it turns out that I was off on two of them.  Apparently, I've been feeding her when she was actually "telling" me she needs a good fart!!!! Then I was feeding her on top of an already aggravated tummy with a gas bubble and wondering why she was still fussy.  Way to go, Mom!  I also thought she had gas when she was telling me she was tired, so I was wearing the poor kid out with a whole lotta burping, when all she wanted was a nap!

The five words (crys) are:
hungry = nah/neh/nay ... or any cry with the "n" sound  (Quilla says Neh-GEE!)
tired = owh/aaw  (sounds a little like "ouch" or "owl")
burp me = eh
tummy ache/need to pass gas = (air)
uncomfortable (need to be held differently, too hot/cold, need diaper change) = heh (or any cry with "H" sound)

If you are a new Mom ... you MUST watch this DVD!  It's amazing.  The DVD has many examples of other babies making each cry/word so that you know what exactly what to listen for.  It also offers great solutions for each problem your baby my have.
Since I watched it, Quill has been spitting up a lot less because I'm getting the gas bubbles out of her (on her cue) before I feed her again.  It's nice to not wear quite so much baby barf the last couple days! I  feel that my daughter is happier in general as her needs are being met almost immediately now.  She is also waking up less (once!) in the night because she doesn't need anything except to be fed and a diaper change.
Last night I was so proud as I tucked my smiling baby back into bed after her 3/4am feed.  I decided to go into the kitchen a get a glass of water before tucking myself back in bed.  I was thinking how nice it is to get to go back to sleep so quickly .... when ....
I stepped in something warm, wet & squishy.
aaaaaaahhhh!  gross!
She nursed, burped, and went back to sleep.  She didn't barf up any milk this time ...... what could this be???
Dog Barf.

A couple days ago, instead of going to the pet store I normally go to for dog food, I ran over to Rite Aid (which is closer) and just picked up some other brand of food.  I wanted to get home to watch the new Dunstan Baby Language DVD!!!  Well, it seems I've solved my daughters tummy troubles, but created a new one for my little doggie!  Poor thing!  Guess I better stop blogging and get over to the pet store when Quilla wakes up to get some better dog food!
.... and just when I thought it was safe to go barefoot! geeeeeeez!

Parkathon

If you don’t give your kids something to do, they will find something to do and it will annoy you. I realize that Alex is always better if we leave the house by 9:30 am and the house stays clean if we stay out of it. So in order to stay sane while I was pregnant we started this thing I call “Parkathon”. We get up in the morning, get dressed, pack a whole lot of food and drinks and go to the parks. We became regulars at these parks, going around the same time. We’d meet Mom’s and kids, make some friends. It’s awesome. I highly recommend Parkathon to anyone with small kids. We go to a park at 10am where the day care kids play. We play, get bored, eat something, get in the car, change diapers and go to the next park. The next park has a bathroom and a whole bunch of stay at home moms with kids. We play, get bored, eat something, feed half the kids there, and go to the next park. We stop at McDonalds (I know it’s bad) to get a happy meal and we go to the next park. This park has the older kids with the stay at home moms (you can learn a lot from them). We eat the happy meal, play, usually have some sort of incident, and then head off to the final park. This park has a bathroom and horses! We change diapers, eat a snack, visit horses, play, and this is usually around the time that Alex will lay down in the middle of the play ground, drooling, panting, red faced, and begging to go home and take a nap. I’m usually able to get him to sleep for 3 hours while I have some “me time”.

Hell hath no fury like a 2 year old

I love my son. He's doing a great job at being two, but the screaming, the biting, the tantrums, the time outs ... and I'm just talking about me here. Seriously, 2 is really hard. I keep consoling myself with the thought that not all of my parenting will be contained in just one year. I get 18 years to raise him. It's just so hard. I read everything I can get my hands on. I take classes. I consult friends/family, and I pray often. It's got to be the most challenging, humiliating, humbling, and exacerbating experience of my life. Half the time I feel like I'm going nuts, and the other half I'm so proud. I wonder if there is something wrong with me, and then I wonder if there is something wrong with him. I love my astrology book- I looked up his sign ... it recommended getting a super strong playpen when he was born and then staying inside it until he was three. We had to go to the emergency room one night because he had a tantrum and wacked his head on his bed frame. He hit his head so hard - he had a bump, he threw up, he was tired, SO off we went to the ER. The doctor was hugely sympathetic. She put her arm around me and asked me if I was ok.
I sobbed.
She said "they are absolutely demonic sometimes." She assured me it was normal, and that I was a good mom.
I hope she wasn't lying.

The Morning After

I have 3 grades of coffee. Chai tea for the days "I'm quitting Caffeine" (the box has dust on it). Regular on sale coffee for most days and Starbucks eye opener blend for the OMG I haven't slept I feel psychotic mornings. Everyone should call their parents and thank them for giving them life and having the tenacity for keeping them alive...

To vaccinate or not to vaccinate .... that IS the question.

Quilla - 10 wks

The subject of vaccinations has become one of the most controversial issues for new parents.  It seems that nearly all pediatricians are great supporters of vaccines.  I found this out the hard way.  Just before Quilla was born I started seeking out a pediatrician.  My husband and I were escorted to the door in the middle of an interview with a doctor when we expressed our "being on the fence" about vaccinations.  HMMPH!!!

I believe the decision to vaccinate or not is one that should not be taken lightly whether you choose to vaccinate your child or not.  If you choose not to vaccinate, I would encourage some homeopathic prevention as opposed to doing nothing.

Today I finished reading "The Parents' Concise Guide to Childhood Vaccinations."  I would highly recommend this as  required reading for any new parent!  It was extremely informative and offered unbiased thorough explanations of the vaccines, the diseases they are meant to prevent, symptoms & complications of the diseases, treatments for the diseases, and the risks & side effects (if any) of the vaccines.  The book is short, sweet and to the point.  I read it in just two days, which says something considering my lack of personal downtime lately.
I learned some interesting details - like the fact that Quilla is immune to measles  for her first year of life because I had them as a child and would have passed my immunity to her while she was in utero.
hhmmmm .... very interesting.

Here are some links to some other literature I found very informative regarding vaccinations:
http://www.vaccinationcouncil.org/2011/02/06/a-few-things-i-know/

http://www.vaccinationnews.com/Books/Adverse_Reactions/Personal_Stories/personal_stories_of_vaccine_inju.htm

http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/downloads/appendices/B/excipient-table-2.pdf

http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/downloads/appendices/G/cases&deaths.pdf

http://www.vaclib.org/basic/unvaxhealth.htm

http://newswithviews.com/Renee/tocco101.htm

http://www.infowars.com/voluminous-research-proves-vaccines-are-deadly/

http://apps.who.int/immunization_monitoring/en/globalsummary/timeseries/tsincidencepol.htm

http://www.harpub.co.cc/

http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/eid/vol6no5/pdf/srugo.pdf

http://www.naturalnews.com/022389.htmlhttp://www.newswithviews.com/Tenpenny/sherri128.htm

http://childhealthsafety.wordpress.com/2009/03/21/autism-rates-rocket/

http://childhealthsafety.wordpress.com/2009/07/06/gardasil-victims/

http://www.rense.com/general87/retired.htm

http://www.modernalternativemama.com/blog/2011/3/14/myths-about-non-vaccinating-parents.html

http://drtenpenny.com/default.aspx

http://www.ageofautism.com/2009/02/managing-editors-note-below-is-the-story-of-iam-gromowski-a-boy-who-lived-47-days-after-his-hepatitis-b-vaccination-thank.html

http://www.wiseupjournal.com/?p=937

From the land of milk... and what is that ... that is NOT honey!

I was taking a bath to calm my nerves and doctor my body. My little dog, Belly, sat by me and she looked extra forlorn. I patted her precious head and talked to her about nothing. I laughed to myself because her “tatas” were huge- much bigger than normal. She has been eating a lot of table food lately I mused. I reached out to pinch one to tease her about how fat she was getting, and milk squirted out! Not a little bit, a lot! She’s lactating! She’s got enough to feed a litter! How can this be? She’s not pregnant. She’s never been pregnant ... she doesn’t have cancer ... how can this be?
I hopped out of my bath, got dressed and paced the house. What do I do, who do I call, and what do I tell them? Should we go to the vet? My vet is almost an hour away; is it worth loading up the kids? How much will this cost? ugh… I checked her at least 2 more times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming this up. The kids were quiet enough, so I looked it up. I found out she had a false pregnancy and she was lactating. I had to check her for a fever and keep on eye on her to make sure she didn’t get mastitis. Ok, I can do this. After a few days she/they got bigger and hotter. If she could have talked I’m sure she would have said “Mommy, I will be there for you through thick and thin and I’ll even feed the little ones if you’d just give me a chance.” LOL! It looked painful. I tried ice. I tried hot baths. I considered a breast pump. I mused about lending her to a rescue with a litter in need. She was so uncomfortable. She lay on the couch, not moving, panting, dripping, and miserable. She still didn’t have a fever, but I couldn’t leave my best girl hanging. 
I did what had to be done.
She’s ok now. Milk dried up, no worse for the wear, and we are closer than ever!

Grilled Cheese

Today I discovered a half-eaten grilled cheese in my backseat. It wasn’t alone either, it had friends. Dried cranberries, animal crackers, freeze-dried strawberries, a sippy cup full of milk....it was like a buffet. In fact, if you enjoy day old milk and grilled cheese, it might have made a delightful little meal.

Last week my husband got in to my car and said, “I really think that we should try to set a good example for Luke and keep our cars clean.” I had some choice words. In his defense, he was admitting to his car being dirty as well. Is it Luke’s fault? I don’t think so. He is ushered around in my car 80% of the time yet Brian’s is equally as messy (albeit minus the grilled cheese). So who’s fault is this? Time - a parent’s worst enemy.

Could I have used the time spent typing this to clean out my car? Of course I could, but that really narrows the chances that the grilled cheese is going to grow a moldy face of Jesus. If that doesn’t happen then how am I going to sell it on eBay for enough money to buy a new car? Clearly that would be counterproductive. Plus, by leaving it in there I am setting a very important example for Luke - dream big kid!

You made your bed - now lay in it!

Someone once told to me "you should always make your bed cause it sets the tone for the day".
I wish I had heeded that advise today!!!

Last night my tiny 10 week old slept 6 1/2 hours!  Yippy!  I felt like a new woman!
Like a total junky, I was hooked on the feeling of energy, clarity and the momentary lack of my ever present dark circles under my eyes.  So, I got greedy.  When it came time for Quilla's nap, I decided to crawl back into our still unmade bed, nurse her, and snuggle up with her for a little nap myself!  SO eager was I to steal another 20 winks that I didn't realize that this was not "the nap".  This was Quilla's "prelude to a nap".   She nursed and then looked up at me with her hypnotising eyes and started cooing and laughing.  I joined in the game.  Then she started grunting pretty loudly, and we both laughed about it.  I find it absolutely hilarious to see a 13 pound bouncing baby get so serious about the effort put into filling up a diaper.  I am not, however, quite so tickled when the diaper in question has exploded all over my powder blue Egyptian cotton sheets!  It was like someone had emptied the contents of a jar of Grey Poupon  into my bed.  Then, to add insult to injury, as I scooped her up to head for the shower, she barfed  all over me and the silk duvet.

Freshly hosed off, she now sleeps peacefully in her swing where she normally takes her late morning nap.  Meanwhile, I'll be the well-rested Mommy kicking herself by the washing machine.

Amanda The Builder

When I got pregnant with Luke, I knew my interests were going to change. I knew that Grey Goose vs. Ketel One would be replaced with Huggies vs. Pampers, "should I go for a run?" would be replaced with "should I take a nap?", and poop would become very important. What I didn't see coming was the transformation from "beautiful painting is it Pissarro or Cezanne?" to "cool truck, is it a front hoe loader or a bulldozer?"

I wouldn't say I'm a girly girl, I played rough when I was little, partied my way through college, and have spent lots of time in my garden up to my elbows in dirt, but trucks? I'm starting from scratch with that one. However, what I lack in truck knowledge, I definitely make up for in truck enthusiasm. "Look Luke, look at that truck!!! (exaggeratedly pointing) Do you see it??? (jumping up and down) Look at the crane, it goes up and down, up and down, up and down!!!!" Oh. Man. It's not just trucks either, it's all of Luke's current obsessions, snowmen, Christmas lights, drums... And this weekend when we happened upon a Christmas parade in Palm Springs with trucks(!), covered with lights(!), with snowmen on top(!), followed by a marching band(!), my head almost exploded. Then I looked over at Luke and he was so excited that I cried.

So I guess my new interests are Luke, things that Luke likes, and spending time with Luke. Don't get me wrong, I still like hanging out with my friends, shopping, reading a good book, and cooking a nice meal, but watching your son get excited about something he really loves is just about the best thing in the world. Well that and the $25 sweater sale that I encountered this weekend at the Banana Republic Outlet, because some things never change.

The "Non-Plan" Plan

Mommy & tiny 15 minute old Quilla

When I was about 7 months pregnant, I asked my doctor "Should we start talking about the birth plan yet?"  She responded, "How about the NON-PLAN Plan? It's nice to have an idea about how you would like things to go, but we don't know how you, your body and/or your baby will handle labor."
It made sense.  How can I make a solid concrete plan for something that is so completely out of my control?  So, at 10pm on September 26, as I took the elevator to the third floor of Cedar Sinai Hospital, I gave myself over completely to destiny,  and I actually enjoyed the adventure of the next 16 hours that would lead to finally holding my daughter in my arms for the first time.

38 wks preggers

Last night Quilla woke up almost every hour to nurse.  By 6am I was beyond exhausted.  My husband, who now sees me as some sort of non-sleeping super hero, rolled over in bed and asked me "how do you do it?"  I thought about it for a second and then explained to him, "I know!  It's weird.  Functioning with this little sleep should turn me into a bear ... but regardless of how tired I am, I'm happy to wake up because our daughter needs me."  -and I meant it.

SHE NEEDS ME.  I have never had more purpose in my life than I do now.

So, I've decided that I will continue to be on the "non-plan" plan. I might sleep 2 hours tonight or I might sleep 6.  It might take me ten minutes to get to the grocery store or  2 hours because I have to pull over twice on the way to feed the baby.  I might fit in my old cloths by Christmas, but probably not because I shouldn't diet while breastfeeding.
.... and that's all OK!  cause I'm on the "non-plan" plan.

Blessed Cabin Fever

Quilla Soleil - 2 months old

Today was the first day we've had in a while without a scheduled appointment, activity, or plane to catch ... and  it was like a holiday ... or a lazy Sunday. We slept in, played, sang, danced, had 2  guests visit, napped, took a long walk, played some more, had an impromptu photo shoot for Quill in her super cute red tutu, made crepes for dinner while Quilla gurgled stories to her new Laugh & Learn Puppy, skyped with Aunt Jenn, Mommy took a shower, Quilla took a spa whirlpool bath ..... and then it was 7pm.
I was out of ideas.
So, I made some popcorn and we snuggled up together in bed to watch
"Santa Claus is Coming to Town" on ABC.  Crazy that a 2 month old can watch TV, but she does!  AND she seemed to really enjoy the show!  Afterwards, she nursed and then fell asleep for the night.

Gosh ... I even cooked dinner tonight with the same ease that I did prior to September 27, 2010!
Well, I'm not going to hold my breath, but after a day like today I think (maybe ... just maybe) we've started to get the hang of this new "Mommy and Me" schedule.

First haircut freak out

A few days ago I decided that it was time for Luke to get his first haircut. Well, decided isn’t quite the right word. My husband insisted I take him to get a haircut probably because he was starting to look homeless. So, weepingly I looked online for the perfect place for this rite of passage. I settled on First Cuts at the Promenade on the Peninsula. As I sat there sweating at the idea of Luke with scissors to his head, I wondered why I was so freaked out about this. I decided that my biggest fear was that it would make him look like a kid. Not just a toddler but a full blown KID. I wasn’t ready for this! Now it strikes me as a little bit funny that this would worry me. Other moms yes, but me? Me the mom who hated all baby clothes? Me who eschewed the color baby blue for the whole first year? Me the mom who dresses her toddler in skinny jeans and skate shoes?

Well maybe it didn’t quite fit but never the less, my heart was pounding as we walked in to the store. Would he look different? Would he still be blond or would his hair look darker? Would he still look like a little surfer dude? More importantly, is a person wearing Sketchers shape-ups going to be able to refrain from making my son look like a dork? I think I almost fainted.

So, how did it turn out? Well as my husband so frankly put it, “did you have to pay for that?”. Yes folks, a quarter of an inch of hair and ten year’s of his mother’s life are missing, but he looks exactly the same. Well, maybe a bit less homeless.

Mount Saint Quilla

For the Thanksgiving holiday, my husband and Quilla & I flew home to NYC to be with our family. It was, of course, the first time Quilla (8 weeks old) had traveled. We probably would've waited till she was a bit older to travel so far, but when she was born in September my Father had just come out of a two month coma. So, none of my family back east were able to fly out west to meet the newest addition to our family. I had promised that as soon as she and I were able, we would come to them instead.
I used to be quite the jet-setter, and would've packed for a week long trip back east in under 30 minutes. Well, let me just say ... packing with "baby on board" is NO joke! I started packing 2 days before the flight, and I am so glad I did! There is just SO much gear and stuff to remember, and my memory skills are not what they used to be pre-pregnancy! In fact, I think my memory is even worse now than when I was pregnant. I sometimes joke that my 2 month old is sucking out a few more IQ points every time she nurses. Anyway, it's a good thing I packed in advance because the one and ONLY thing I forgot to do the night before our flight was to set an alarm. My wake up call was my friend calling me from outside the house to tell us she was here to pick us up. OMG! We had 5 minutes to get ourselves and Quilla dressed and out the door. What a circus! While Raven jumped up and down on the luggage like a crazed gorilla trying to get the bags closed, I sang itsy bitsy spider in a very high pitched voice to keep Quilla laughing as I changed her in record time and got her dressed. In the meantime our two dogs barked at both of us and kept trying to jump inside any luggage that wasn't closed. By the time we got on the road I was a sweaty mess. Quilla was happy though! She seemed amused by the whole charade. I had pumped milk for her in preparation for the trip, so I fed her "breakfast" in the back seat on the way to LAX.
Sometimes I secretly wish I was part Inpsector Gadget so I could "go-go-gadget boobie!" and stick a breast in her mouth inside her car seat from where ever I am in the car. It would make life so much simpler these days!
Apparently, my child has some sort of magical powers. I have never in my life had such an easy time with airport checkin and security! We checked our bags curbside and went inside to get the elevator to our gate. There was a gentleman from our airline that took us to the front of the line at security. Another TSA officer carefully & quickly inspected my remaining 8 ounces of bottled breast milk and then asked if he could help me with anything else as I got Quill situated back in her stroller. After that we went to our gate to ask the woman at the counter if she could help organize better seats for us as my husband was going to be 4 rows away from us, and I preferred not to breastfeed in between strangers on the plane. The flight was over-booked, so my expectations were not high, but she promptly granted our wishes and seated us exactly where I asked her to. We were off to a fantastic start!
Prior to our trip, my brother-in-law gave me some good advise that proved to be very helpful. He said to sit over the wing of the plane as there is more white noise to help the baby sleep, and to feed her during take off and landing so that she is swallowing as it will help her ears to pop. Well, we sat in 27 A & B and my little eating machine NEVER turns down the breast, so eat she DID while taking off and landing!

You would think she traveled everyday since birth. She was an angel! Other passengers and the flight attendants all marveled at how cute, young and yet quiet & well-behaved she was! I was SO proud. She slept through the first 4 1/2 hours of flight. Then she woke, smiled and cooed at me to be fed. Half way through her feeding, I felt something warm on my stomach and then my legs. Oh NOOOOOO! Diaper explotion! She had peed and pooped all over her pale pink leotard, striped leg warmers, and ballerina slippers. It was as if her tiny tush had erupted all over 27A. I didn't want her "perfect little traveler" reputation marred, so I carefully wrapped her in her blanket so no one would see her soiled ruffles as I walked to the back of the plane to the WC with the changing table. Luckily, I had a change of clothing for her in the diaper bag. Sadly, I did NOT have a change of cloths for myself. I was now covered in poop, pee, and spit up from her feeding. I was wearing black though, so you couldn't see the damage. As long as no one stood downwind of me, I don't think anyone would be the wiser! Once she was freshly diapered and clothed, I walked back to my seat. Quilla's admirers whispered how darling her fresh new white outfit was. Her reputation in tact, we landed at JFK New York City.